With only hours to go before WWDC, which just happens to be 30 minutes after Microsoft are doing their E3 announcement, here is our stab at decoding the invite sent to developers

Hello love at first swipe. 

Mark: An update to the lock screen. More information, maybe a more notification style view like you get from swiping down from the top on the home screen? although that might be contradictory with Apple’s your data is private mantra.

Serenak: Some other sort of swiping API? The ability to create “gesture commands” from shaped swipes perhaps?

Karl: Apple is getting into Tinder territory?

Hello other side of the road

Mark : This could be a sign of iMessage coming to Android maybe?

Serenak : Some form of peer to peer messages. I am thinking both Android and based on some sort of iDrop type technology

Karl: Other side of the road? It’s official! The Apple Car will be unveiled…or Apple Streeview.

Hello yogi on my wrist. 

Mark : If that isn’t a hint towards more Apple watch faces I don’t know what is. Perhaps Apple has a licensing deal with Hanna Barbera?

Serenak : A yogi is also a practitioner of Yoga… and yoga is about more than just all them “tantric positions” – there is a lot of that “if a tree falls in the forest” stuff too…”. Or perhaps a stream of inspirational stuff messaged to you?

Karl: Your Watch will nag you even more to stand up, except now it will say stand up, walk about, eat more kale, do star jumps and loose some damn weight fatty.

Serenak: Ha ha – no it will demand you assume the Tiger Stance / Now the Crane / And Relax….or perhaps make you sit on a bed of nails 😀

Hello driver, fast as you can.

Mark : Baked in Uber commands. Wonder if this will extend to other cab companies such as in London. Here’s hoping for a worldwide roll out and not just USA only. Also it will translate english into the native language of the Uber driver so it knows there the heck I am.

Karl: Apple Maps with realtime traffic updates like Waze…or a native get-away driver app

Serenak: Something more advanced for the Apple Auto Mode? I like Karl’s idea

Hello workout in my living room.

Mark: Improved fitness tracking. In the far flung reaches of my mind something on the Apple TV (apps) where you can work out to and the Apple watch will gather some stats.

Karl: Mandatory monitored fitness regime. We no longer want fat people using our thin products…’Yeah, we ARE looking at you Madden’

Hello every pitch, every highlight.

Mark : Say hello to a tie in with the MLB coming to your watch. Perhaps you will receive instant notifications with a more video / interative twist that won’t require your iOS device, just a working internet connection. Failing that what about real time Darts updates when someone bangs in a 180?

Karl: Watching all the sports highlights you want. I hope they include THE ENGLISH TIDDLYWINKS ASSOCIATION

Serenak: It will be a live stream of SharkTank / Dragon’s Den… once you sign in you find there is not any “I’m OUT” button 😀

Hello selfcombusting selfies.

Mark: Say hello to sherlocking (part 1) the idea from SnapChat.

Karl: It may be too late for Anthony Weiner but this selfie will selfie-destruct in 5…4…3…2…1…pfft.

Hello double tap heart.

Mark: Can anyone remember how to use the Tap the screen and send it to someone feature?

Karl: built in defibrillator that following a double tap will use all remaining iPhone power to give a bit of a jolt…or double tapping a photo means you really, reeeeeeaaallly like it.

Hello rain in five minutes.

Mark: Say hello to sherlocking (part 2) of Dark Skies coming to Apple watch but more baked in. Localised weather is great providing that it’s not just for the USA as normal to start with.

Karl: updates to the Weather app to make it more real time…or just predicting rain every five minutes for UK users, as it will probably be spot on 90% of the time.

Serenak: Either it is sherlocking Dark Skies et al or Karl’s nailed it – either that or Apple have created weather control and you can order your own weather in advance 😀

Hello 6 seconds of fame.

Mark : I’ll take a pass on this unless we’re back to snapchatting.

Serenak : Vine type video service. who says it has to be to the Watch? I am thinking some sort of 6 second video thing tied into maybe iMessages?

Karl: Because 15 minutes was just too long dammit.

Serenak: Even Andy Warhol admitted that 15 minutes was probably a massive over estimation before he died

Hello big idea.

Mark : Sharing and collaborative working? Will Swift get a new dev environment to work within?

Serenak: What if “Big Idea” is more like the “one more thing” and is actually a BIG IDEA unfortunately I am not Jony Ive or TC so I have no idea what that might be

Karl: Because there are no small ideas, just small actors…no, wait.

Why is it rumoured that the new OS will be called Fuji? That’s not in California… and if they only managed 3 in that series that’s a bit pants boys and girls… 

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