I might have lifted that comment from a profilic iPad jailbreaker @chpwn which is odd as we barely cover anything jailbreakesq but it’s true. It’s made even more so by the fact that the people over at Wired.com have put the “overheating” iPad 3 in perspective amongst several other tech sites.

iPad 3 Temperatues How did warm become hot become overheat?

So in the wake of all these claims that the new iPad will burn your childern and act as a “Penis Iron” I decided to do some very unscientific journalism.  My first stop was Google where I did a very quick search to ask “What temperature does skin starts to burn at.”

The general consensus is that skin starts to burn at 140°F or 60°C. As you can see in the image provided from wired.com you can see the iPad only manages to reach 94°F.  Far below that needed to start scolding the youth of today.

ipad3 temp How did warm become hot become overheat?

So if in general, the new iPad is running warmer than the old iPods, why is there all the over the top report of temperatures being out of control?

Temperature is the only factor when something burns you. Exposure and the time of exposure are also factors.

How did “warm” become “hot” become “overheat”? – Why not complain about the iPhone 4S or MacBook Air, which get much hotter?

Apple’s Penis Iron

“The problems range from poor WiFi reception and WAN data plans that run through their monthly allocation in hours, to the very high temperature that the iPad operates at, which Consumer Reports says could cause burns if held for a long period — like, say, if a child were playing games. Let’s just say when I get an ad about a product that will make me longer and harder I’m not expecting to get an iron, yet this Apple appears to be designed to take the creases out of my private part.”

So lets look at a few of these claims.

Poor Wifi Reception – Easily solved with hitting up the airplane mode and then coming out of that.  Next.

Data plans that run out. – Are you kidding me??  This ranks right up there with guns don’t kill people, people kill people for blaming the tools to do a job.

What’s the first thing that you did when you got your brand-new broadband connection? I would almost guarantee that as some point you went out and found the biggest data filer you possibly could and started to download it just to see how fast it really is.  Then you show your friends and whoever else might be interested right?

It’s not the iPad’s fault that people are consuming more data it’s the people themselves.   Just because you have the ability to drive a car 100 miles an hour doesn’t mean you should do the same applies with your data limits. If you are educated enough to know how much your downloading all the size of a movie file them really should take stock in thinking do you really need a data plan enabled iPAQ

One point here is that these reports never tell you how people are actually managing to run out of data. 3G, in its present incarnation, is more than capable of letting you download and watch movies and do all that data consuming stuff so can anyone explain to me what the sudden changes in user behaviour has occurred?   Nope, didn’t think so and why do these reports not tell us the source along with the stats.  Didn’t we have the same BS report when the iPhone 4s came out and sites proclaimed that it was also sucking the internet dry.

I would happily place a bet that after the initial wow factor of sure fast LTE has been played with for the first week or so, data usage clams down.

Could Cause Burns – If a child is playing games for a very extended amount of times, and playing the right game which maxes out the new iPad graphics.  If you have a child that doesn’t recognise when something is HOT, which as a non parent I’m pretty confident that children can work this out for themselves (as they do with food which is hotter than an iPad) consider getting a specialist to help out.

I’m no journalist as you can figure out by how I write about things on this very blog but at least I know how to “do a google” before spending the time to lambast all that is Apple for the sake of an article.  Just like this article he’s writing about articles having never used an iPad whereas I have.

Does it get warm, yes… I think. Never noticed it but then I don;t game a massive amount.  Am I concerned for my penis..Not in the slightest.

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